How Deep Is Shallow

So I’ve slowly been trying to control my dating addiction.  I still don’t know if I’m actually addicted though.  Anyway, I’ve been on a few dates with a guy we will call Roger.  Roger is sweet.  Roger is nice.  Roger has a brain.  Roger is attractive.  But Roger isn’t sexually attractive, to me at least.

He has a nice face.  But he’s not a man’s man.  He told me shaves his body.  I like a man with chest hair, so I know he’s a man.  He doesn’t like steak.  I like steak.  And I like a man that can grill a steak.  He has more of a swimmers build.  I like a man with some muscle.  You see where I’m going.

Like I said we get along well.  And he is an attractive man.  I think I could have sex with him.  But I don’t think I would be fully into it.  And I think we’re at that point where he wants to.  I do like spending time with him.  But I have enough friends.  I feel like if I have sex with him, I’ll lead him on because he’ll think we’re taking the next step and really I’m just trying him out.  Then I think, maybe it will be okay.  I’m torn.

Is it shallow of me to think this way?  And are there levels to being shallow?  Or are you shallow or you’re not?  Anyone’s thoughts would be appreciated.


11 thoughts on “How Deep Is Shallow

  1. I have been in this situation before… maybe just enjoy his company; it doesn’t have to be about just “sex” – tell him you like him as a friend! 😛

    • I’m in kind of a strange place with it because I don’t really need another friend. And he and I have had a “friends” conversation about how people say they will be friends and it just fades away. i think if I say I want to be friends, he’ll blow me off because he’s not looking for just a friend. We’ll see. I’m going over to his place for dinner tomorrow. I have until then to decide what I’m going to do. Another one of my problems is I think I over analyze everything too. I think that’s going to be my next blog post, over analyzing:)

  2. Women tend to over analyse things (some more than others) it is probably due to not wanting to make the wrong choices. Good luck on the date, looking forward to hearing about it.

    • Sorry for my delayed response.

      I didn’t have sex with him like he wanted. I was honest with him. Being friends isn’t what he wanted. He said we could be friends with benefits. I didn’t have the heart to flat out say, I can’t have sex with you because you’re not manly enough for me. Ahh… you win some and lose some.

  3. does his incredible personalilty make up for his lack of chest hair? if not, move on. there are different levels of shallow but at the end of the day, the heart wants what the heart wants :o)

    • It’s more than just the shaving of the body. He just didn’t have the manly qualities I look for in a man. I just couldn’t picture myself having sex with him. Well, I could picture myself having sex with him, just not enjoying it. It’s moot now because he didn’t want to just be friends.

  4. Well I woulda probably had sex with him anyway if I liked his personality and enjoyed his company in the off chance that the sex was good. But then, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never find a good friendship and good sex in the same man 😛

    • I have a theory that guys who are really good in bed are dicks. They have no personality. My theory is they were the popular guys in high school or college that got all the girls on their looks. And the never developed manners or conversation skills because they didn’t have to. They never evolved past, “You’re cute. Do you want to have sex.” Those are probably the guys online in the 30s on up that send the one liners like, “Nice tits. Want to have sex?”;)

      • That’s very true. Although, I have encountered a few good-in-bed and only mildy an ass people. But not like I can get a date with them…

  5. I always try to go with my feelings. If something doesn’t feel right than 100% it’s not for me. I once started dating a guy who gave me this wrong feeling in the beginning which disappeared with time as we were friends. And after we moved in together he became more of an obsessed fan than a boyfriend. It was quite a stressful time for me and now I do listen to myself.
    You are not even physically attracted to him so it was the right choice to wait for somebody compatible with you.

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