I’ve been around know-it-alls all of my life. I grew up with them. I’ve worked with them. I’ve served jury duty with them. Most recently, I found myself on a date with one.
4th of July eve drinks with Biff, why not? Biff wasn’t his real name. But Biff’s personality was exactly what you’d think a “Biff personality” would be like. He was a handsome guy. I do however suspect that he had someone write his profile and do his correspond with me. Because he did not sound like the same person, in person.
As soon as we got our drinks, Biff was off to the races. He knew everything about everything. Biff knew the best Bloody Mary mix. He said the kind I use was cheap. I received a dissertation on why a drama is the best genre of films. The comedies I enjoy are stupid and have no substance, according to Biff. The evening culminated when Biff proceeded to tell me why I date the wrong kind of guys. His reasoning was, I’m too picky. “Not picky enough apparently,” is what I answered him with. Then it got a little out of control. It ended with me telling him that calling him a know-it-all would be too much of a compliment because that would mean he would actually have some knowledge. I told him he was just an asshole. I paid for my two drinks and left.
I felt bad about what I said. When I got home I texted him that I was sorry for my outburst. Surprisingly, he said that he was partially to blame. He said he was a little high strung because he gets nervous on first dates. He asked to see me again. I politely declined. The final text I received from him said, “BITCH.”
Know-it-alls think they know everything. Why then don’t they know that nobody likes a know-it-all. And you know they get called out for being a know-it-all somewhere sometime. So if a know-it-all happens to read this blog, know this, at least try to pretend that you don’t know everything.
I vented and now I’m going to bed.